"As a therapist, I spend most of my time unpicking unconscious patterns of behaviour. When someone asks me 'Why are all men like that?', my answer is 'Why are all the men you choose like that?' Freud talks about something he called 'repetition compulsion'. That is, a pattern in which someone acts out the same sexual psychodrama over and over again, with different people allotted the same, unchanging roles. At a subconscious or even a conscious level, they're hoping to rewrite the outcome, to perfect whatever it was that went wrong before. Inevitably, though, the same flaws and imperfections they themselves bring to the relationship destroy it, in exactly the same way."